How i live now

how i live now

No more knock-down drag-out brawls with the day
No more forcing square space into round time
trying to make work the near impossible with the next to nothing
I don't wake up cryin'

There is time for books and leisure and rest
I reenter my quiet house through the grey goose light of 3:45,
knowing that someone I love is soon behind me,
looking forward to warm meals
with close comfort
and familiar fortitude

No more scavenging home through the tunnel of darkness that stretches from November to May

I can breathe
I am thirsty but not starving
challenged but not overwhelmed
the uncorrected papers have yet to mutiny over the face of my desk
tying me up with their rallying cry of "not yet, not yet!"

I have forgotton the sting of laser precision scrutiny,
(almost)
the heat of criticism magnifying my every minute and minutae

I have time to see children.
Hear them. Know them
not just sort and grade them
shuffling statistics through the day like beligerant sheep

How I live now
is better than I lived then
More humane,
and more resembling living